Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Plugging Along

Another round is in. I think its round 4 of this current regimen. They are concerned about my continued weight loss so they are going to try to put me on another new medication to help ease nausea and stimulate my appetite. I don't want to gain any weight, that is for sure, but I am probably not getting enough nutrition to adequately fight this disease and I want to fight this hard. So, I'll take the new meds. I don't get it until Thursday, apparently it has to be ordered. I am on so much medication its hard to keep track anymore. I just watch my schedule.

I ran out of one of my heavy nausea medications this weekend and I didn't have any refills and I'll make sure that doesn't happen again. I was so sick for two days, throwing up, diarrhea, chills. Like I had the stomach flu. It was awful. I knew I was running out, but I figured I was at the end of the cycle, and I take so many anti-nausea meds, how bad could it be to skip the Zofran for the weekend. Bad bad bad. I won't wait again, I'll call even if I have an appointment the next day.

I think I told you I was approved for Social Security Disability and I got some good news today. I may be eligible for an extension on my Cobra benefits which may bridge the gap between my Cobra and my Medicare. I need to talk to Sandy and discuss further, but it really gives me hope that I might be able to keep my insurance. The premium is going to probably triple, but no matter the cost, I'll pay it to keep insurance. This is a necessity for me.

I was also excited to get a call today inviting me to the Kadlec Christmas Banquet. I really wanted to go, but since I'm not an employee I figure I wasn't invited. But I have been invited to be a guest at the HR table and I can't wait to call Kristen tomorrow and say YES, I would love to go! I couldn't go last year because I was in the hospital with low platelets, so I really was looking forward to this year.

I'm feeling okay. The first few days are probably the best since I still have all the IV meds still in me. They will wear off tomorrow, so the struggle begins. I still get shots every day this week and a double dose on Friday, so its going to be rough going. But I endeavor to do something everyday, and my laundry is piling up, so tomorrow may be laundry day. I also have some paperwork that needs to be done, so I have a few tasks ahead of me to keep me busy. Its so hard to not just lay around and do nothing. I have to fight that desire. My body is tired and overstressed so I have to make myself keep going.

So keep going. One foot in front of the other, one step at a time. I can persevere on to the end of the battle with the best of them. Cancer has met its match.