Monday, April 4, 2011

Break?

Well, this is the deal.



I saw Dr. Rado today and we addressed a whole host of issues from dry mouth to skin sores. It seems that every time I see the doctor my list of side effects grows along with the medications they put me on to fight those side effects. Today I left with four new medications to add to the 12-14 that I am already on. A few of them are short term, so they will go away in a week, but it seems so crazy to me the constant barrage of medications. It seems there is a medication to fight the side effects of the medication!



Anyway...



My platelets haven't moved one point. They remain at 44 which means I can't take the new chemo, Tramadol, which is just fine with me. I am sick of taking chemo and adding another one didn't fill my heart with happiness anyway. So no new chemo. Yea me! We spent quite a bit of time on when I should take a break from everything for a little while. The evidence of my platelets not coming up shows how tired my body is and that it is becoming unable to rebound anymore. Basically it needs a rest. We discussed stopping right now, but decided that I will do one more round (two doses) of Avastin in April and then assess after we do all my scans in May and if there is either no improvement or (hopefully) an improvement then I will take a month or two off everything. I will get to rest!!! Which means that when my family comes up for my birthday in late May I will feel good, I will be able to enjoy my family. I'LL BE ABLE TO TASTE AND ENJOY MY CAKE!!!! The plan is that both my brothers and their wives will be visiting for the weekend and I think we should just skip to my 50th birthday, that way I'll be sure to celebrate that milestone...



Okay, maybe not, but it sounds good. We will just go ahead and celebrate 48 and be glad for it. That is a good age too.



So dose one of my Avastin is in and I'll do another dose in two weeks and then in early May we'll do a bone scan, full body CT scan and an MRI of my brain. My prayer is that it will show an improvement in my brain and all clear everyplace else. We figured that it would be better to get one more dose in and working before the scans to give me the best chance of an improvement. Fight. That's my job for the next month. Fight and fight hard. Then I'll get to take a break. I know that I will be doing some form of treatment for this cancer for the rest of my life, so I'll do the best I can to make it a good strong fight. One worthy to be proud of; worthy to hold my head up and say look, see me, I can duke it out with the best of them. Cancer, you are not going to take me down, I may have to fight the rest of my life; but it will get better, I'll take a break and get stronger and I will overcome cancer. Its a fight I just can't lose. I have too much to live for and I plan on living good.