Peyton's Birthday

What a perfect day it was yesterday! The wind came with an incredible force and blew in my daughters 18th birthday. We celebrated it with style. After she got her license back we went to lunch and then off to get her first tattoo. I wish I could have joined her and got myself another tattoo, but I am supposed to wait a year after my chemo to get tattoos. That stinks, but whatdaya do? So I joined her instead and she had the Chinese symbols for Peace, Love and Happiness put on the back of her neck. They look really cool and she was very brave. This is the child who is terrified of needles and she sat and received it like a real trooper. Her first ink! Cool. She went to hang out with Mason for awhile and was carded when she bought her first lottery ticket where she won $5! So if she quits now, she will always be profitable on her gambling. The family all went to dinner at Outback and then back to my house for cake from Desserts by Kelley. After everyone left, it was just the two of us and we got to spend time talking and waiting for the magic time of 10:19pm; the time when she was born. I tell her the story of that day. The 4am contractions that sent me to the hospital, the hours of labor, then the terror when she went into fetal distress followed by an emergency c-section where they told me she was a healthy baby girl. I was tired from the long day and the surgery so they laid her on my chest and we both slept and I got to experienced one of the most perfect moments in my life. I wasn’t sure I would make it to this day, so to have the honor of being with her, seeing her reach this milestone. What an incredible gift.

She is off to school today and I didn’t get to give her a ride! Back on her own again, she left early to get a good parking space. She is now authorized to sign herself in and out of school and excuse her own absences. In another month, she is free of the public school system, successfully completing her 12 year sentence, while I pray that she is prepared for the world that awaits her. I think we try the best we can to get them ready, but how can you ever be ready to enter this world and face all the complications and challenges it holds? I am in my late 40’s and a lot of days I wonder if I’m ready for this world! But I will take every step I can with her, supporting her along the way, doing the best to catch her when she stumbles and be there to pick her up when she falls. We are mother-daughter, but we are also best friends, always there for each other no matter what. We have been through so much, and succeeded, together, hand in hand.

I plan to work a half day every day again this week. Even yesterday I worked half day, I started at 6am and was gone by 10am. Today I have physical therapy on my arm and I hope to be able to get the swelling down and the lymphedema under control. I see that as one of the potential barriers to a successful return to my work and my life. There is so much I cannot do when my arm is swollen and hurting, so it is imperative that I get this under control, and soon. I trust my therapist Sara to guide me through this part of the journey, her expertise of lymphedema invaluable. I continue to hold on to the hope that once the toxins get out of my system, the swelling will subside once and for all!

I have to get ready for work, thanks for continuing to support me as I return to my life. Your good energy and prayers every present on my journey, urging me on. I couldn’t do it without you.