Feeling Crummy

There is something to be said about “quality of life”. I look at my life since I returned from vacation and started up chemo again; hoping that this is not my permanent life, I pray that this life is only temporary until the chemo is over. I wish I knew when the chemo was going to be over, I wonder how much longer I am going to have to endure this chronic stomach pain and complete listlessness. Every day I think I’m going to feel better, and everyday nothing changes.

I get up in the morning take my medicine and go back to bed in the hopes that when the meds kick in and I get up I’ll be better, but truth be told I usually end up just taking more meds so I can make it to the couch and then I lay all day sleeping, barely eating, watching TV. If I feel really good I might check my email. I don’t respond very often because I’m so tired and my right side is so weak that my typing skills are seriously lacking. But the good news is, I’m still here, still alive, still fighting. I try hard to keep my attitude positive, knowing I can beat this and there is an end in sight, I just have to keep my eyes on the horizon, knowing that there is a better sunrise for me, its coming, I just have to be patient.

Mom is recovering really well from her surgery. Dr. Fewel said she had a lot of scar tissue that he had to get through and he told her to take it easy or she could easily reinjure her spine. She stayed overnight at Kadlec and got to come home early the next day. The great news is that she is already getting movement back in her foot and her pain is subsiding. I hope she heals up quickly they want to head to Colorado to see my nephews in mid-September.

Off to bed, its taken me all day to write this in small segments. I’ll try to write again tomorrow.