Good News

I am happy to share some good news with you. Dr. Iuliano called me about 8:30 last night to let me know that he looked over my scans and they show no new metastasis and the existing tumors continue to respond to treatment. They existing tumors are not gone, but they are responding. I’ll know more on Monday when I meet with Dr. Rado but I believe this means I’m still in the fight, the chemo will continue and we’ll probably recheck again early in 2011. It’s a balancing act, following the cancer without giving me too much radiation. One CT is the equivalent of about 400 x-rays, so you don’t do them lightly. I wish that the MRI technology could be used on my chest and abdomen, but apparently CT is the scan of choice to look for cancer in those areas. So Dr. Rado may want to wait four months before we do this again. So, I estimate that I’ll be in chemo until at least the end of the year, which I figured, but it would be nice to know these were the chemos “for good measure” rather than the continued fight. So, it is good news, but not the news I wanted. I want it to be gone, gone, gone. Away forever.

So my regular life will have to wait and I need to work to make this life a life worth living. I am going to stand up, dust off my skirt and pull my head out of dirt to begin life anew. This is my life; I need to make it valuable and worthwhile. There are so many things that I can still do without working my job, I just have to overcome the side effects; quit letting them get me down. Shoo away the darkness and shine the light on all that is bright and good in my life. There is SO much that is great in my life and I have stuck my head under the covers and ignored the greatness and focused on the disease. The disease is there, its chronic and I’m probably going to be fighting this for the better part of my remaining life, so I need to incorporate it into my daily life. Breast cancer is part of my story, a big part, and I need to live it the best I can and shine brightness on everything around me.

So when you see me sticking my head in the dirt and start wallowing in the muck, pull me out and shake me. Remind me of all the good that I need to be thankful for, all the greatness that has blessed my life and will continue to sparkle during my days left here. None of us know our future, not you, not me, I may outlive all of you!

So thought the news is not what I wanted, its what I get and it had the effect it needed on me and my attitude. I resign myself to the facts of my life, and vow to live it the best I can, I hope I can be a shining star and brighten the world around me.