Staying In The Fight

I’ve been stewing about my results and what they mean and as time goes on I feel more positive about the results. As much as I want clear, I’ll take better. At least it’s not getting worse. I am concerned what happens once the chemo stops, if it has a hold at all without the drugs to keep it away, I know it will come back again with a vengeance. This is a highly aggressive and prolific cancer and if given a chance, it would gladly take my life. And I refuse to let it do that. It CANNOT have my life, my life is too good and I refuse to give into this sly and evil foe. I have fought it for this long; I’m not giving up now.

Nearing the end of this round; I’m feeling pretty good. I have chemo again on Monday and I also meet with Rado which will give me a better handle on my path forward. I have been offered a room at the Embarcadero at Newport Beach starting this Saturday through next Saturday, I can’t go before chemo, but I could go down on Tuesday, so Mike is trying to clear his schedule so we could go to the coast next week. Wouldn’t that be an awesome way to recover from the next round of chemo, relaxing on the beach at Newport. I worry I’ll not have enough energy and Mike will get bored, but he is always so wonderful and patient with me that I am sure he will tolerate whatever I can do. We can sit on the patio and watch the bay and read, relax and just enjoy each others company. We don’t get a lot of time together so it would be very special. Between me being sick and his busy schedule we might grab a few minutes each day to catch up, so to have five whole days together would be awesome. He is working on rescheduling his week, I hope to know today.

I am feeling more optimistic, possibly because I am feeling better added with a positive outcome to my scans. So the darkness has been chased farther away, its still there waiting to get its claws in me the first chance it gets, so it is important that I keep my chin up and a smile on my face…and ice cream in my freezer.