Bak in Front of the Fireplace.

It’s a bitterly cold morning outside, only 10 degrees, but it is warm in front of the fireplace. It is so nice to be back in front of my fireplace, now richly decorated with its festive stockings. I’d like to say that I’m feeling all better and everything is just hunky dory, but I’d be lying. I am very tired and my body feels weak, but my spirits are good. Being in the hospital was not the greatest experience of my life, but I learned a lot about the affects of chemo on my body and how to treat those side effects. I thought I’d explain some of this medical jargon, so maybe it will make more sense to you when you read about it.

Platelets are what make your blood clot. Without platelets you would bleed to death. Did you know that transfused platelets only last in your body for a few days and the ones that are transfused are used up really fast when you are as low as I was. That is why it took me so long to go to the ER on Saturday. I had received two units of platelets on Friday, so why would I need to go to the ER? In my mind I thought I just needed to wait it out and the platelets would eventually “kick in” and the bleeding would stop. Well, that isn’t how it works, and now I know. When platelets are falling as fast as mine were the transfused ones are used up really quickly and my body isn’t making any to replace them, so even after a transfusion, the platelets can get even lower. Transfused platelets just don’t stay in your body that long, maybe a few days, and then your body has to start making its own. I ended up getting six units of platelets, two on Friday, two on Saturday and two on Monday. For some reason, when I get platelets I react with fever and chills, so a platelet transfusion isn’t very fun, but I’m sure glad when the bleeding stops, and my counts come up so I don’t have to worry about bleeding to death.

Red cells aren’t used up quite as quickly. My red count was low, but not as dangerously low as my platelets, and even they continued to fall after the transfusion. The red cells carry oxygen. So when my red cells are low, I am weak and short of breath, my heart rate is high because it has to work so hard with less oxygen. I ended up getting five units of packed red blood cells, which is high concentration red cells. Its nice when the red cells kick in because the energy comes back and I can walk up with stairs without my heard pounding out of my chest and feeling like a ran a marathon. I still get a little short of breath on the stairs, but its getting better, so I know my counts are coming up.

I have spent the last week neutropenic, which means I don’t have the white cells that fight off infection. When you are neutropenic, they don’t recommend that you get out and about at all since you are susceptible to just about anything. They have been giving me shots called neupogen to increase my white cell production. I have one more shot today, and hopefully that will be it. The neupogen makes my bones ache since it is stimulating cell production, so the neupogen is pretty miserable, but necessary.

I am not sure when they are going to check my blood levels again. When I go in today to get my neupogen shot I’m going to talk to Michelle, my chemo nurse, and ask her when we are checking blood levels and when I can resume normal activity. I have realized that I need to find a way to get my work wrapped up and take some time off. I am not sure how to strengthen my body and get my bone marrow back to normal producing platelets and blood cells, but I am sure that rest has a lot to do with it, and that is not something that I am very good at doing. I have realized that I probably need to take some significant time to rest and recover. Otherwise, I’m never going to make it through the next round when we start up again at the end of the month.

The only good news is that if I’m this sick, the chemo is working. Its killing all the cells and hopefully, the tumors and cancer cells are dying even quicker than all my good cells. It is certainly a balancing act. Only kill enough to keep me alive. What a crazy dose of medicine!