Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Still Resting!

I was allowed out for a little while yesterday, as long as I was “smart” about it, staying away from big crowds and sick people. I spent most off the day working on a special present I am doing for my daughter, which I won’t discuss here just in case she decides to read my blog. I took a trip to the bank and stopped by Target late in the afternoon, and I am definitely going to have to ease back into activity. Just those few errands left me feeling totally exhausted and ready for a nap. Wow. I am really a wimpy weenie!!

I am just amazed at the toll that this round of chemo has taken on me. Thank goodness it was right before a break; I don’t think I could take another round right now, no matter how many transfusions they gave me. There is a cumulative affect of chemo and there were six rounds preceding this one, and each one did get progressively more difficult culminating in this final awful round that has left me lying in the dirt. I wonder if I’ll ever be the same again.

It has opened my eyes that I need to really focus on my health and let go of everything else in my life that is not a priority. If I don’t survive this battle, nothing will matter anyway, so focusing on my health certainly makes sense. I’m sleeping a lot and not worrying about cleaning or laundry or anything. I told my daughter she can do the laundry when she gets out of school on Friday and Davidson and Susan Wood have hired Merry Maids to come and clean my house over the holidays, so I can just sit back and enjoy this time in front of my fireplace. My only worry is running out of propane.

Christmas will come whether or not presents are purchased or stockings are filled. I watched that great classic “The Grinch That Stole Christmas” the other night and it reminded me that it’s not about the presents anyway. It’s about the birth of Christ. It’s about celebrating our redemption. It’s about spending time with the ones we love and holding tight to those people. It’s about standing heart to heart and hand to hand.

Those Whos are sure smart little critters!!