Friday, December 18, 2009

Reprimanded to Home, Again (sort of)

Well it’s another beautiful day in front of my fireplace with a cup of my Doma free-trade coffee, a homemade pumpkin scone (thanks to Angela) and a dog on my feet. Yes, I said ON not AT. Sophie sits on my feet. Gotta love that little 60 pound puppy. She keeps my feet warm.

I started to get out and about a little this week and have almost finished my Christmas shopping. I didn’t have that much to do anyway, so it was pretty minor trips to the store, mostly stocking stuffers. I found that yesterday I was starting to get my energy back and was beginning to feel like my old self again. It was a great feeling. We (mom, Mike and I) went and got our trees from Farmer’s Exchange, and I selected a beautiful tree. The family came over and we decorated it last night and now, it truly feels like Christmas.

Unfortunately, I had my blood work done yesterday and my white cells are still not coming back and I am neutropenic again. So I am back on neupogen shots daily and we’ll check again next Thursday to see if the white count holds. I should be completely reprimanded to my home again, but I just can’t live like that all the time. I am being smart and staying away from crowds, but I had my family over last night, including my grandson (the germ monster) and basically said to heck with worrying about getting sick. I am so glad I did, it was wonderful to see that little guy again and to spend time with my family and decorate the tree. What a fantastic evening.


I did get really tired last night. I don’t know if it is because I just did too much yesterday or if it is a side effect of the neupogen shot, but I slept soundly except when I woke up at 3am with my bones aching and again at 6:30 to make sure my daughter was getting ready for school. I slept in to 9:30, so almost 12 hours. I certainly can sleep! I cannot blame my poor blood counts on a lack of sleep. I get more than my share of sleep every night these days!

So today I focus on finishing my daughter’s present. I have a physical therapy appointment at 3pm (to work on the lymphedema in my arm) and then I’m picking Jessie up from day care and Peyton and I will hang out with him for a few hours until his mommy gets off work. I have no major plans for the weekend except to wrap presents and enjoy the company of my daughter. Her boyfriend is gone for the holidays, so I really have her undivided attention for Christmas!! I have cards for my friends at the office, but since there are a few people there who are sick, I will probably have Mike deliver them for me and I’ll try to get in to see everyone after the holidays. I really miss my friends at the office.

I’m going to see my son tomorrow, even though the jail is certainly not the best place for me to be. I’m going to take Lysol wipes and wipe down the phone and counter where I sit. You don’t actually see the person face to face, it is all via video monitors. It is almost Christmas and I don’t know if they have visitation next week on his regular visitation day because of the holidays, so I want to make sure he sees a friendly face, the face of someone who loves him, for Christmas. There is not a lot I can do for him, I got him a subscription to the newspaper, which was something he really wanted, and I have ordered him a few books. Other than that, all I can do is tell him that I love him and keep praying for him.

So for Christmas I want my bone marrow to start working again. If you are praying for me, pray for healthy bone marrow. I see Dr. Rado next week and we will decide when I start chemo again. Given the difficulties I have had this round, I don’t know if I’ll be starting up the week after Christmas or if we are going to have to wait a few more weeks. Part of me wants to get started and get it over with and part of me wants to wait and give my body a little more time to regenerate. I guess I’ll leave that decision up to the wisdom of my doctor. I know he has my best interests in his heart.

So, as you prepare for the holidays, think of the intangible things that are in your life that you should be thankful for. When I start thinking of all the beautiful things that grace my life, I realize that my cup is not just full, it overflows, spilling down the side and running off the table. I am so blessed it is without measure. And so, I believe, are you. Just take a moment to realize it.

God bless.