Friday night party!

What a wonderful evening I had last night. I got to spend some time with my friends from the Kadlec Foundation Board at Meadow Springs for dinner. Laughter, love, fun, fellowship. What an amazing group of people. This is one of “my” Boards (I call them all mine) that Wendy has taken over the care of, and while I still over see the work, I don’t actually get to go to the meetings anymore, they fall on my chemo day. Which makes me sad, because this is such a remarkable group of people! But, they are having a workshop this weekend, which started with a nice social dinner on Friday with guests, and I just couldn’t miss it. Not to mention I had put together a pretty fabulous menu for them, Larry had chosen great wine, so how could I not attend? I got to see my sweet ladies, Peggy, Dottie and Irene and catch up on their lives and health. Irene is moving soon, and that makes me unhappy, but I know she is going to make such an impact at her next destination. She is a woman to be reckoned with and Savannah River better watch out, they aren’t going to know what has hit them! Dottie is healing from back surgery and I just love that woman and her gentle spirit. She looks into my eyes and I see pure care, concern and compassion, for me, for those she loves. I am so honored and blessed that I get to call her my friend. Peggy make me smile, she is so full of life! Widowed for years, she has found a whole new life that is incredibly rich and fulfilling. I aspire to be like her, to make a difference in the world like her, to face challenges like her. She is someone to look up to.

I got to catch up with my friend Michele and her husband Mike who have been facing some pretty remarkable challenges. Yet, they just keep plugging along, keeping the faith, putting one foot in front of the other and trusting that God is in control. My Mike was, of course, by my side the entire night, taking care of me, holding my hand and keeping me steady and safe. He is my angel in the flesh.

I only mention a few in a room full of beautiful people, not to minimize one person there. Each person in that room has impacted my life in some way, with a kind word, gesture, smile, prayer of healing and hope. It’s amazing when I think of it, how many people are in my world. How many people I call friend, and that I could call on in a time of need. People who are praying for me, pulling for me and sending me their positive energy.

Growing up I wasn’t the most popular girl. Far from it. It might surprise a lot of you to know that I was the outcast girl, the one that was picked on at recess, the one that was terrorized by the cheerleaders and cliques. I remember praying to be left alone, praying to have a true friend, and vowing I would never treat people the way I was treated. By the end of high school I had a solid and small circle of close friends and a very thick skin. But thanks to time, age and maturity, we grow up. Those awful memories fade into the background and we enter into an adult world, leaving behind those trials, bringing forth those lessons. And lessons they were. I learned to have a friend, you must be a friend. To receive, you must give. Relationships are reciprocal. If I am kind to you, chances are, you will be kind back. If I show you love, more often that not, I will receive love in return. It’s a risk, throwing your heart out to people, wondering how they will treat it, but it’s a risk worth taking. For I have thrown my heart out there hundreds of time, and it just keeps getting bigger and fuller. And every time I share my heart and receive it back, I have more of it to give. And the circle grows. And I have found myself blessed beyond measure. Have I been hurt, let down or disappointed? Of course. Everyone has. But that doesn’t mean that you stop putting your heart out there. You let the hurt go, put a Tinkerbell Bandaid on the disappointment and just try again. The rewards are worth way more than the pitfalls. You end up where God intended you to be, in a circle of love and light.

I’m feeling good. I like to say, all things considered, I’m feeling great. I could list the side effects from the chemo: fatigue, nausea, peripheral neuropathy, flu feeling, bloating (my face is a MOON), more fatigue, can’t sleep well, sensitive teeth… But each of you look at your day and what do you feel every day? Tired? Yup. Ate too much at dinner and sick to your stomach. Probably. Feel achy like you are coming down with something? Somedays. Bloated? Ask any woman. Exhausted? Worked too much this week? I guess what I am trying to say is that we all experience these things in some way or another during our days and nights (except maybe the peripheral neuropathy). So really, what I am going through is nothing more than what you are going through too, I just have them more often and all together. Collectively, they become a little more challenging, but nothing that can’t be overcome. It’s not like I am deathly ill, Praise God, with my head hanging over the porcelain god all day. I mean, I can deal with this. There are people that deal with way worse than this every day. I am not minimizing the side effects, just assuring you know that I am doing okay. Your prayers and support are surrounding me and keeping me at a place where I can work from, a place where I can heal in.

A place of hope. I am a lucky woman to have all of you.