Home.

Home again. There is nothing like home. No matter if I’m am gone one day or 100, there is a good feeling when I walk through that threshold and enter the place I call home. My family is there to greet me, my dogs are ecstatic, even the cat shows her appreciation for my safe arrival. I returned home a more relaxed and renewed woman than when I left.

My fear and stresses temporarily suspended while I rejuvenated my soul at that magical place called Breitenbush. Rejuvenation, a soul reborn, reenergized, soothed in love and healing energy. Calm warm healing waters to soak a tired body in need of the restorative powers of the hot springs. Surrounded in fellowship with other woman, so wiling and able to give of themselves, their gifts, the abilities, their love and curative energy.

The trip reinforced my commitment to self-care. It reinforced my practices of meditation, yoga and daily walks. It reinforced my commitment to eat healthy. It reinforced my commitment to my relationships with other women and the importance of continuing to nurture those relationships. I would like to share an experience at Breitenbush:

We went to the New Moon Ritual. There were 25 women in the small sanctuary, the most spiritual of all the places in Breitenbush. We were led by a long time Breitenbush resident, Alia, who is a joyful and grounded spiritual woman. After preparing our alter honoring the goddess and the four directions of the earth, we were each individually welcomed into the circle, where we sang a song together about the sacredness of the earth and then shared a ritual of giving and receiving compassion from each other. The new moon is about setting intentions, so we each received a stone where we set our intentions and placed the energy of that intention into the stone which we will plant into the earth so that our intention can take root. She then asked if there was anyone in need of special healing or energy. Me, being me, spoke up that I had 10 weeks of chemo left. There was no hesitation, not from anyone, they immediately moved me to the center of the circle and surrounded me, laying hands on me where they could and those who couldn’t reach toward me or laid hands on those with their hands on me. I lost track of time, my body’s temperature begin to rise with the incredible amount of healing energy that was pouring into me. And if that wasn’t enough, they sang a chant “We send you healing, we send you energy, we send you love.” Over and over and over they sang to me, each person focusing their love and energy on me and my healing. It was one of the most transformational experiences of my life. I felt overwhelmingly loved and protected. But most of all, I felt even more hope for a positive outcome than ever before. I was thinking, “give me a CT now and see, it will all be GONE!” I had a beautiful women tell me that she sent two guardian angels to watch over me to get me through, and she sent the biggest, toughest ones she could, I believed she used the word “bouncers”. So I have on either side of me bouncer angels (I imagine they look something like Dirk Pitt) to keep me safe. How cool is that. As I left that night, I got prayers and hugs and more prayers, all these women that I didn’t even know were reaching out to heal me. How incredibly profound and humbling. But of course, I should never expect anything less from women. If it is asked of a women, she will give, and she will give from all her heart and all her soul.

Tina and I had an awesome time together, sharing our friendship is one of the most special experiences of my life. She has been there for me for almost 13 years and this was the first time we had taken a trip together. We talked, we laughed, we cried. We strengthened and deepened what was already a great friendship. We just keep getting better together. She is part of my heart and soul, I don’t know what I’d do without her. We are already planning our next trip. And, true to our womans hearts, we stopped at DSW in Portland on our way home. Yes, I have new shoes for chemo this week (and next week too!). Girls gotta be girls.

I am feeling wonderful and refreshed. It is a beautiful place, in more ways than I can count. I can’t wait to go back to Breitenbush again. Its purest healing energy is calling me.