More on time.

12 weeks. Such a short period of time. Really. It seems like a long time when you are facing it, but in actuality, 12 weeks isn’t that long at all. It’s only one trimester of an entire pregnancy, a probationary period at a new job, one season, one quarter of a whole year. Its only 90 days. But, what can you do in 90 days? Read the bible cover to cover, buy a house, change a habit, start a work out, get in shape, quit smoking, take a college class, meet a new friend, read a novel or two, start a diet, plant and harvest a garden, fall in love, beat cancer.

Depending on your perspective it can be a short or long time. When I think of the next 12 weeks, its daunting, but I think of the reality of how short a period of time it truly is and how much can be accomplished. I just have to keep moving forward. At this rate I should have my next CT around Halloween and be done with chemo by Thanksgiving. What a Thanksgiving that will be! There will be so much to give thanks for! I know the doctors are going to “beat this back as far as they can” but I plan on beating it back all the way. All the way to nothingness. Gone. Forever. And if I don’t… well I don’t even like to thank about that, and I guess I’ll cross that bridge if I get to it. They are coming up with new treatments and therapies everyday and I heard of a new treatment in clinical trials for triple negative breast cancer that is showing great promise. So I just have to make it until they find a cure, and with all those smart people out there working on it, a cure just has to be looming on the horizon! I plan on hanging around until old age. Older than dirt. That’ll be me. I joke about it, but I had my palm read once and I have a really long life line. That has to count for something, eh?

Off to dose two of round four this morning. I finally started to feel more like myself yesterday and had a little more energy. I have found that I simply can’t and shouldn’t work 12 hour days any longer. It’s hard for me not to work like that, there is so much to be done and so much I want to do. I love feeling like my life is just as it always was, but I know in my body when I get home after a long day like that, it isn’t truly the best idea. My body feels more overtired than usual. I was only there for 11 hours yesterday and I felt pretty good, but cratered hard when the night set it. So, I’m going to take it down to 8-10 hours a day once Wendy gets back from vacation. She is in Hawaii next week (now, I would cure up really well in Hawaii!) so I’ll be holding down the fort, but I know that once she is back and helping me out, I can work a more reasonable schedule!

I am really excited about Sept. 18-20. My best friend and care partner for the last cancer, Tina, and I had booked months ago to head off to Breitenbush Hot Springs for a Women’s Renewal Weekend. When we planned it, I had no idea that I would be battling breast cancer, but God knew, and knew this would be the perfect retreat for me. The entire weekend is focused on emotional and spiritual healing in mind, body and soul. There is lots of quiet mediation and prayer time and should prove to be a most perfect weekend, spent with a perfect friend. I am sure we will find the quiet times challenging, being the chatterboxes we are, but it will be good for us to see ourselves in silence, and feel the tranquility of our souls at rest and peace. I love Breitenbush. It is a spiritual vortex. There is more peace and love and harmony there than anyplace I have ever been. It is my hippie commune, off the grid (they generate their own power), no phones, no cell coverage, no computers, all organic vegetarian food, natural hot springs… As soon as I pass through the gate, I feel calmer, more at peace. So, once I leave, you won’t hear from me for the weekend, but I’ll make sure to tell you all about it when we get back!

So, I only have 11 weeks left. One is already past. Counting down to health. Counting down to victory! “We shall overcome!”