The Saga of the Ribs

The bones seem to be a never ending saga. I talked to Dr. Jones on Monday and he is not convinced that they are fractured ribs. If you remember, I have three spots, two on the right and one on the left. None appear in my previous CT scans, so this had to have occurred within the last few months. Dr. Lewis, who read the scan, signed off on the report that they were all fractures, but Dr. Jones, is not so sure. He said that the one on the left looks like a healing fracture, but the spots on the 9th and 10th right posterior ribs have “decreased bone in the area of uptake.” In other words, the bone is slightly less dense where the dye was absorbed. That may indicate metastatic disease. He wanted to talk to my oncologist and then…well that is what I don’t know yet. The “what do we do now” is my big question. I have chemo tomorrow, so I am hoping that either Dr. Rado or one of his ARNP’s, Marlene or Mitra, are prepared to talk to me and give me a path forward. I felt like Dr. Lewis didn’t take me seriously and basically blew off my concerns, whereas Dr. Jones took my concerns seriously. He felt I deserved an answer to my questions and given the aggressiveness of my disease, he didn’t want to take any chances. I am totally cool if it is not cancer, in fact, I am wildly ecstatic if it is not cancer! Woo hoo, let’s celebrate! But I don’t want to take any chances either. If it is cancer, I want to get moving on the treatment ASAP and if it isn’t, then I want to know how to keep from fracturing additional bones and what caused my bones to break in the first place.

So I am in a wait and see pattern. Meanwhile, my back continues to hurt, but I think it is getting better. That would be consistence with fractured ribs. Either way, fractured ribs or cancer, they really hurt! I was picking up Jessie this weekend and thinking, I probably shouldn’t do that, if my ribs are fractured, I should probably let them heal. But I love having that little guy in my arms; it is the best feeling ever.

I have been really tired this last week and hope that my platelets have rebounded. I think that they finally have in the last few days, I’m starting to get a little of my energy back. But this was sure a tough go ‘round. My blood counts tanked and I just couldn’t get them back up. That is consistent with what happened when I went to San Francisco. I think that traveling (other than to the Oregon Coast) is just too hard on me. I have no trips scheduled until March, so I’m home for now. Unless anyone has a place on the coast for me to go, then I’m SO there. My counts do really well on the coast!

A little update on my son. He is still in jail and it just breaks my heart, but I know he is where he needs to be right now. I went and saw him and he was pretty rude to me, so I haven’t been back. I am sure that he blames me for all his woes, that is pretty typical. Gotta blame someone, so blame mom. Good thing us moms have big shoulders, we have a lot of burdens to carry. I sent him a letter telling him how much I loved him but that I needed to let him be with the consequences of his actions right now, and then I sent him a Life Recovery Bible and a Narcotics Anonymous big book. I hope that he takes them to heart and uses them in his recovery. It is going to be sad to not have him around for the holidays, but he did this to himself. I just keep praying that he will turn his life around. The attorney said he will probably be in jail for about 4 months.

Since I am giving updates, the puppy is getting huge! Sophie is about 50 pounds now and is less than 6 months old. She is a joy. We should have named her Marmaduke. Any of you old enough to remember Marmaduke, that is Sophie. Big long gangly legs, beautiful beggar face. She is such a people dog. She doesn’t lay AT your feet; she lays ON your feet. I love having her around; makes me feel so loved and adored. Dogs are the best when it comes to brightening someone’s day. They love you completely and unconditionally. When I come home, my dogs are overjoyed to see me, like I am the most important person in their world, and just maybe I am.

I should get chemo tomorrow and then again next Wednesday (the day before Thanksgiving) and then be off from Thanksgiving to Christmas! My brother and his wife are coming up for the Thanksgiving holiday, so that is going to be great. I am so excited to see them.

I’ll keep you posted as the saga of the ribs continues…