Sunday on the Beach

I dreamt about cancer last night. I dreamt about having it in my lungs and bones, about telling the people that I love that I have cancer, about the looks in their faces when they realize that I have this disease. I dreamt about being sick, about tests, about fear. All night long with the sounds of the surf crashing against the shore I dreamt about cancer. I don’t know why it was there, haunting my dreams. It’s bad enough that I have to deal with this disease when I am awake, but to have it invade my dreams seems unfair. It’s the one place it hasn’t really been able to touch me. My dreams have remained blissfully unaware of the cancer. Maybe it’s the test coming up later this week, maybe it was because we were talking about it at dinner last night, but hopefully it goes away and leaves my dreams alone. I want to dream about bunnies and sunshine, not sickness and disease.

I am sitting here on the balcony watching the surfers battle the waves. The surf is breaking pretty good this morning and they are spending most of their time tumbling in the waves. Maybe it’s not as easy as it looks. And it looks cold…perhaps I don’t want to go surfing after all. Watching it from here seems good enough today.

The shopping excursion was successful. I was exhausted by the end of the day. I think we hit every designer store in Fashion Valley and Peyton purchased various fabulous items including new jeans and a pea coat. I picked up a nice pair of olive colored suede boots and a few shirts but the focus was really on Peyton. It was her shopping spree. She even has money left over to spend when we hit the shops here in Coronado. It defies reasonable sense and sensibility, but I went to Nordstroms Rack and didn’t buy any shoes. It is truly unbelievable. I have been trying to switch to more conservative shoes lately because my energy level is so low and it takes so much more energy to wear heels. So I found fabulous heels, but didn’t want to buy them, and saw some cute flats…but that’s all they were - cute…not fabulous. I just couldn’t bring myself to buy them. It’s a mind shift that I haven’t made yet. I am a high heel girl, not a flat girl. Learning to wear sensible shoes is going to take some time. But I realize how important it is to conserve my energy and I get out of breath easier in heels…but still…I am a off the charts heels to die for girl! I guess I’ll just have to find the most fabulous flats in the world!

Today is brunch in the Crown Room. It is ridiculously expensive, but is the most expansive spread of brunch delicacies that I have ever seen. There is everything from fruit to crab legs. We will not need to eat again until tomorrow! The conference starts today at 4pm, so after brunch I’ll spend a few hours with my family and then get busy on work stuff, getting ready for the conference. At 6:30 there is a reception and at 7:45 is dinner. I have arranged for all 45 guests of Kadlec to eat at a restaurant across the street from the hotel called the Brigandine, which is supposed to be excellent. I hope so!

My health and my energy are holding up. I am sure glad that I got a transfusion before I left town or I would probably be in bed completely exhausted. I have also been taking vitamins and airborne twice per day to make sure that I don’t catch anything while I am here.

This is a beautiful place to rest and regenerate. Even once I get busy with work, working in a place like this is still so incredible. With the beach and ocean before me, it makes everything just a little bit easier.

Cheers!