Church?

Sunday. What are my plans for the day. I am toying with the idea of going to church over at The Living Room with Tina and Gary. I feel the need to have some comradie of other believers in my life. Then there is always the question if I don't go to church and I die, who does my service? I always can count on Keith Price, a preacher friend of mine down in Heppner, but I would like to have a relationship with a church who would challenge my faith and help me grow my beliefs and improve my communication with God. I talk to Him all the time, and I know He is listening, but there is a longing inside of me to be with other believers. I think it would help my sadness and improve my attitude. So, its only 8:37, the service is not until 11am, so I have plenty of time to get ready. I won't be putting on lashes, that would be too much work and I don't think God cares whether I show up with eyelashes or not, it might make other people uncomfortable, the bald girl with no eyebrows or eyelashes. But its church, so there should be no second glance, no judgement. I went to this church before, and I love the music and Monte is a great speaker but no matter how hard I tried, I could not connect with the people there, it was very clicky. I tried to join groups, Peyton tried to work in the nursery, but doors were shut at each turn. Maybe now that the church is more grown and established and I know a few people there, it might be better. If I don't try, I'll never know. And my heart is pushing me to go, so I should listen to my heart. It hasn't steered me wrong yet. I'll let you know how it goes.

Peyton won't go with me, she was really burned by a few different things that happened at various churches and a terrible incident that happened with Younglife that turned her off to organized religion. I don't blame her, it was very very non-christian behavior and I wouldn't want her to be involved with those type of incredibly judgemental people either. Not the type of people you want your daughter to emulate.

So, I'll contact Tina and see if there is a seat for me next to her and I'll try it out. It can't hurt and it might help my viewpoint as I move into the new year. I want to survive to 2012, and this just might help. I haven't really made any resolutions, per se, other than to survive and that requires little steps like taking better care of myself, keeping my attitude positive, eating right, exercising. The drugs alone aren't going to do it, especially if I listen to the FDA who is questioning the efficacy of two of my drugs. So, I must add all the other healing techniques I can to beat this disease.

Off to church. I'll sing, pray, raise my hands if so inclined and soak in all the love that God provides. I'll let it wash over me, filling my body and stimulating my soul. I believe in the power of our almighty Lord and the incredible force of prayer, let it rain down on me.