Clueless?

I have to admit it, I'm scared. I was hoping that Swedish would call today and give me some pre-procedure instructions and I finally called them and I have to say they weren't very helpful. No food or drink after midnight, as I suspected, but were they going to tell me that? They were also telling me that they will be giving me 1mg of ativan to keep me calm. A miligram of ativan? I take ativan every 4 hours to prevent seizures and nausea along with a whole host of other narcotics. One mg of ativan won't even take the edge off. I asked her if anyone had reviewed my file or medlist, and she said they would. She also asked if I have a medi-port, which I told her I did, she asked if I had a brochure so their IV team would know about it and how to access it. THEY DON'T KNOW HOW TO ACCESS A MEDIPORT?? Holy crap, what kind of hospital is this? I can't imagine a hospital who does this procedure all the time not knowing how to access my mediport. Swedish Neurosciences is supposed to be a premier and elite institution, this is basic cancer treatment stuff, we all have ports. I just hope I was talking to an ignorant nurse who doesn't understand how things work and doesn't know what she is talking about. But my conversation with her did not instill any confidence in me that they can do this procedure and all it entails. Mike and I are going to call again tomorrow on our way to Seattle and see if we can talk to someone who knows a little bit more and can fortify my defenses. I'm feeling rather frightened and unsure of the procedure. I know its the right thing to do, and I am sure that they will do a fine job, but they probably need to put someone else on the phone with the patients. She was really nice, but made more questions than provided answers.

Given the condition of the pass, Mike and I are going to try to get on the road about 12:30. We will try to call again on our way up there and see if we can connect with someone a little more knowledgeable about Gammaknife and the process involved and maybe I can feel a little more secure about the fact they are shooting high dose radiation beams into my head and bolting a frame onto my skull. Little overwhelming...huh?

Jessie came over to see me and cheer me on tonight, which really helped. He never ceases to bring a smile to my face, he is such a joyful little boy. I felt more optimistic as soon as he walked in. I thinks its going to be okay, even if the details are a little sketchy.

Safe travels. Safe procedure. Complete cure. That's my prayer.