What if?

Do you ever wish you could just fast forward your life? Jump forward 3, 6, 10 months or even a year and skip all the heartaches and pain ahead of you. What would you miss? Would it be worth it to miss the good in order to avoid the bad? That’s how I feel some days when I’m laying in bed, stabbing pain in my head waiting, wondering when or if the pain is going to go away. Wishing I could just fast forward until the treatment, this battle is done and over with, and I am working my way back towards health and wellness.

I guess I am glad that its not possible to jump forward because in between the darkness there are rays of sunshine that are so brilliant and beautiful that to miss them would be a crime. In fact it’s those rays that give me the strength to pull myself up and keep moving forward despite the continuing pain, frustration of the ongoing treatment, the exhaustion. I keep going because beyond all the pain there is such extreme splendor in this life. And I don’t want to miss a minute of it.