Back to the Light

What a difference a day can make.

I have chronicled my descent into the darkness; now let me account to you my journey back into the light and the land of the living.

I finally started to feel better yesterday afternoon. The nausea wasn’t completely gone but it was significantly better. I was still very weepy and was having a hard time keeping it together. I wasn’t sure how well I was going to do at the Variete dinner last night but was determined to go.

Peyton helped me pick out what I was going to wear, including lots of sparkles, but we realized that I didn’t have a scarf which would match the ensemble. So we quickly ran to Joann’s Fabrics to find some material that would make a great scarf. We found lots of material, and about $50 later we were headed to my mother’s house with about seven 3x3 swatches of material. The one I wanted for last night was pure black with sequins. I mean, if I’m going out, I’m going to shine. I left mom with the fabric and went home to try to do something with my face.

I worked on my makeup, matching my outfit with browns and golds and expertly applied the false eyelashes (my real ones are getting to be few and far between). False eyelashes mean the tears must stop. The glue cannot sustain tears and if I cry, then I’m going to end up with a caterpillar on my eye, and possibly falling in my food. Gross. So that meant that at least for the night, my crying was done.

I ran Peyton out to Lippes to babysit and came home to finish getting ready. Mike came to pick me up and he said I looked beautiful, and you know what, I felt like I looked beautiful. I felt put together, confident and ready to face the world. My day had improved already.

When I hit the convention center, I was immediately faced with the smiles, the joy and the love of my friends who were so glad to see me. And I, of course, was ecstatic to see all of them. There was great music, auction items and nice wine (which I imbibed in one glass of) but the best part was the look on the face of each of my friends when they saw me, the love I felt when their arms embraced me, and the genuine joy of the reunion. The support I felt, the love, the authentic concern and the desire to have me back where I belong filled me to the brim with happiness. I realized it’s not one-sided. My friends want me back at Kadlec as bad as I want to be there.

One friend in particular, I won’t name her name, made my night with her enthusiasm regarding my certain return. You know who you are, and your words are permanently etched in my mind and on my heart. They meant so much to me.

My sweet dear Mike topped the evening off with a beautiful wrist corsage made with gorgeous roses and an Angel of Courage for Breast Cancer. I couldn’t read it until after I came home (lest my eye lashes come loose) but his love for me filled me completely. I felt like myself again. I felt like Patty was back.

Last night was just was the doctor ordered. Just what I needed. When I asked God to fill that hole that was left behind by my job, he sent me my friends from work, and they filled me to overflowing. God bless you for doing God’s bidding in my life. Each and every one of you is such a treasure to me, I hope you know that your love, your embrace, your words have helped to bring me back to where I belong. Back out of the darkness and into the light.

Sometimes, when you just can’t take another step, when all seems lost, you just need a few friends to carry you.

Thanks for carrying me back.