Letting Go

How do you mend a relationship? It is so difficult and emotionally exhausting; heartbreaking and sometimes impossible, but I know it’s something that we all struggle with and it’s something that we all will have to do.

People we love disappoint us. They hurt us. They make decisions that don’t match our values or beliefs, even if we think that they should. Because no matter how alike we believe we are and no matter how much we assume people see and think the same way as we do, they don’t. Each person has their own unique set of views, values and beliefs and they make choices based on those beliefs. And normally, there is nothing we can do about those choices. Sometimes, we don’t like them, in fact, we might despise them. And when we do, it is important to take a step back and look within ourselves and see, why? Why am I sacrificing an important relationship in my life over a choice that was made that does not affect me directly? Why is their decision reeking havoc in my life, causing me turmoil and strife? That’s pretty easy to answer, because we love them. It’s as simple and complicated as that. We love them. We want what is best for those we love, even if we don’t always know what that is. It might be exactly what they are doing? It might not. But that is where love, friendship and family come in. We are there anyway. Despite the bad choices, despite the words which may or may not have been exchanged, we love them. We love them through all. And we probably are going to have to sacrifice a little on the journey back to healing. We may have to give up something that we hoped for, but it is part of the human spirit to let go. We must let go of those we love if we have any hope of them becoming the people that we might want them to be. And then we have to take the next huge step and realize, that they may never be the person we dreamed of them being; they may never meet with our “expectations” or may never fulfill the hopes and visions that we had for them. That doesn’t make them any less lovable or worthy of our love, it just makes them human. And haven’t we all made bad choices; that sometimes turned out to be good ones; and some choices that didn’t. And I hope each one of us had someone there to help pick up the pieces when it was all over and the chips had fallen and we realized how poor choices affect our lives.

But through it all we must love. We must love each other and sacrifice for each other. It may be in words or deeds or acts of kindness when kindness is the last thing we want to give, but it is all that is left. It may go against everything that we had wanted, but if the relationship is worth saving, and the person is worth holding on to, then make the effort. Reach out no matter the cost, no matter the hurt, no matter the turmoil. For in the end there will be healing. Let go of the disagreement, let them make their own choices, let them revel in their life, good or bad, it’s their life, not yours. Let them live it. Just as you are living yours.

As for me, I want to live with no boundaries, no rules. I want to wear a crazy pink hat with striped leg warmers and silver dancing shoes. I want to howl at a full moon and purr at the crescent and make love under the dancing stars. I want to be free from society norms and rules of engagement and civilized expectations. I want to dance free like the northern lights and run wild like a wildebeest. I want to awake each morning with a zest and zeal for life which is unsurpassed in this world. I want to live life so abundantly that people gravitate towards this life, this world I have created. A unique and open place of yet uncultivated style, feral hope, riotous happiness, untamed joy, uncontrollable peace, fierce beauty, outrageous laughter and lunatic love. A place worthy of all who hope, of all who dream of a better world. A better place to be. Come with me. Grab your crown and let’s make a new kingdom which shines brighter than all the rest. I have extras crowns if you need one.