More Platelets. Please.

The exhaustion has hit me full force in the last 24 hours. Again, I feel like my body is encased in lead and it is heavy and bulky and hard to move. I seem to get like this every time I take a trip somewhere, so I guess there is a message…be ready to crash after every trip. Because not going is not an option. As long as I am still able, I will go on every trip I can with the people I love. I can deal with the aftermath because the cause is so important. I will treasure these memories that I made over the weekend and nothing and no one can take that away from me. I have learned how important this time is and how incredibly important the people we love are to us and to our future. No matter what happens, Jessie, Elena and Houston will have the memories of all of us together, taking Jessie to the beach for the first time, and THAT is worth a little exhaustion.

I am weak and I drop everything. It’s crazy, like my hands are not mine. My poor phone has hit the floor so many times that I am surprised it even works. Thank goodness that Peyton had me use the heavy duty cover instead of the pretty pink one, I think she has saved my new phone…and speaking of Peyton…she has some pretty exciting news to share from her trip to Canada. Apparently she got to drink champagne out of the Stanley Cup with Jonathan Towes. Now, I’m not a hockey fan, but I DO know enough to know that 1) drinking champagne out of the Stanley Cup is a pretty big deal and 2) Jonathan Towes is the team captain of the Chicago Blackhawks who won the Stanley Cup. So, I guess put those two little factoids together and it is a pretty big deal. Grandpa and my brother, who are huge hockey fans, are incredibly jealous and I have to say that my daughter has done an excellent job of rubbing it in to them, as she should. They would if the tables were turned! My family loves to tease each other, and this is a biggy. She is gonna get miles and miles out of it!!

I miss my daughter, but I have to say I am enjoying my week alone, the quiet. I watch what movies I want to watch and have no one checking up on me, not that I mind her checking, but I do understand now how my mother must feel when I hover over her, wondering if she is okay, imploring her to be careful, take care of herself, the whole gamet of worries that we impose on those we love, only because we care so much. I know how much Peyton cares, because I know how much I care about my mother. It is a circle. Every time I start to get irritated because my family (or my friends) are hovering over me I think of how I would feel if it was them with cancer, if it was them who might die, if it was them who was sick and scared, and I might loose them. It puts the entire thing in perspective. I would be terrified beyond belief.

So when your family worries about you, let them. For if the tables were turned, you would worry about them too. And when people want to do things for you, let them, because it empowers them. I think that the people who love those who us who are sick feel helpless, and allowing them to help, no matter what that assistance is, gives them a sense of peace knowing that they are helping someone they love through a rocky and rough journey. And no matter how small or great, every little piece of help is warranted and welcomed.

I have blood work on Monday and we round two of chemo scheduled for next Wednesday, if my blood work improves. I know my platelets are low, really low. They were only 89 going in to this round and I have bruises and cuts everywhere that I cannot explain. If you tap me, I swear, I get a bruise!! So, I am doing what I can to elevate my platelets, which is very little, protein drinks, high protein foods, rest. But there is really nothing that can be done for platelets. They just have to come up on their own. So I am asking that you pray for my platelets to improve so I can have this round of chemo. I’d like to have it on time so that I can get the whole dose and then be ready for the Bahamas with Peyton on August 9th. That’s my plan and I’m sticking to it! So, God, please give me platelets. Lots of them. Do you all remember when you prayed for platelets about 8 months ago, and I got them, in fact more than I needed? Well, we can do that again. The doctors were amazed, NO ONE comes up with that many platelets overnight without a transfusion, but I did, and that, my friends, is the power of prayer. Platelets. God give me platelets.

So I’m resting today, as much as possible. Reading, doing crosswords and working on platelets. That’s my job. Thanks for joining me in the efforts. Pray for platelets!!