Plugging Along

Peyton made it home safe and sound Sunday night, much to her dismay. If she could have she would have stayed and just flown straight to the Bahamas…but life has the means to get in the way and the reservations were set and she had to come home. She missed me, sort of, she is just a young woman who would rather be with her boyfriend than with her mom, and hey, I get it, totally. But it still would be nice to have been missed, maybe just a little. Oh well, such is life living with a teenage girl.

I’m starting to feel better, moderately. I’m tired, but am able to get around a little bit better. The joint pain has subsided, thank goodness and I am scheduled for chemo on Wednesday, which is a day earlier than normal, but my blood work on Friday was good enough already to warrant chemo. But I would still like higher platelets going in, so keep praying! I am going to ask to see if I can take the entire dose at once rather than take ½ at day one and ½ at day 15. If I do this, then when I leave for the Bahamas on August 9th, I will be way past the nadir and past the feeling horrible and should be able to really enjoy the trip with Peyton. This is such special trip. One that I never thought I’ve live to enjoy, so I want to do all I can to make it a trip worth remembering. I handled the ½ dose well, so I don’t see why I couldn’t handle a full dose with a little stronger side effects and then feel better by our travel date. I have put the question out there and we will discuss more Wednesday at my doctors appointment prior to my chemo. If it is the right thing to do, then I want it to be so. I am praying for the right decision to be made, not necessary my decision. So is that good prayer direction for your prayer? The right decision, not necessarily the decision I want. And I am okay with whatever God deems! I trust Him totally.

I am working on the details of the Bahamas trip; rest days, and swim with dolphin’s days, and rest days and massage days and rest days and shopping days and rest days… you get the picture. Most of the trip is rest, relaxation, sitting on the beach, Peyton soaking up the sun, me resting under an umbrella. I will be a perfect way to recover from round two of chemo. Then as soon as I get back I dive right into round 3 and then after round 3, we are doing to do a CT and see how it’s going. So, there is a good plan in place right now; if round 3 comes out clear, I’ll do a few more for good measure, so I’m not done, but getting close!!

On July 26th I have another brain scan scheduled and we’ll hopefully be able to know whether or not those tumors are sloughing off or going to be hanging out inside my brain for awhile. I have an appointment with Dr. Zhang following the brain scan to identify any residual side affects that m ay occur as a result of these tumors. Hopefully the answer is none.

I am trying hard to find normalcy in my days and in my life. This is my life now, today, not forever. Right now my job is to get well, to focus on my health and well-being. My purpose in life is to survive and survive well. That must be my focus. I have so much left to do in my life and if I don’t focus on getting well, then I won’t be here to accomplish all the things still left to do in my life. So survive I must and I will. I am taking advantage of wellness activities at the Cancer Center. I am spending time focusing inward on healing, eating right, trying to walk when I can. Maintaining a positive attitude. And I think that is the key. If I can keep my attitude positive, I can survive. Cancer cannot kill me when I’m smiling. So I Smile. That’s what I’m doing, as much as I can, everyday. Smiling despite the challenges I face, smiling because I know a secret. I’m going to survive. :-)