Better Every Day

Well I am enjoying the ambiance in front of my bedroom fireplace on this wet and dreary morning. Peyton had a friend over and they ambushed the couches in the living room where they are still slumbering. I want to let them sleep for awhile longer before I wake them and Peyton has to get up and ready for work. The severe side effects of this round of chemo are slowly subsiding. They will rear their ugly head at the most inopportune moments, such as acute nausea right during dinner or horrible leg pains in the middle of a deep sleep, but they are becoming fewer and farther between, which is certainly a blessing. My chemo nurse did indicate that next time we could actually split the dose in two and do a dose on day one and a dose on day seven, but then I’ll be sick twice, so I think I’d rather just be really sick once and get it over with. Next time I’ll have the added Xeloda, so it’s not going to be a party anyway, that is for sure.

I think my counts are starting to fall, but not too bad, I get short of breathe pretty easily, which could be fatigue or a low red count. Its hard to tell when the white count is falling, other that you are more susceptible to getting sick and I have a chronic sore throat, so I would be surprised if they are not starting to drop. I get my blood tested on Monday, so I’ll know more then. My plan is to go back to work next week. I’ll go in every day around mid-morning, so I don’t have to wake up too early and leave around 2pm. That gets in about 4-5 hours which shouldn’t overdo it too much. And that is all subject to, of course, me not bottoming out on my counts or getting neutropenic or anything. I am looking forward to a little normalcy in my life again.

Mom and I are going to do some shopping this morning. We haven’t done that in a while so I am really looking forward to it. Running a few errands, looking at rugs and whatnot. Just spending some time together. She does so much for me everyday, it will be nice to spend some quality shopping time with her. I miss the shared time with my mom that doesn’t involve anything medical or time taking care of me, just time shared. That is a precious thing, time between a daughter and her mom and I realize how fortunate I am to not only have such an exceptional mother, but to still have the gift of her solidly in my life at my age. I have a lot of friends who would give anything for just one more day of shopping with their mothers. I am grateful I have her. She is a woman I aspire to be like.

A lot of you probably don’t realize how much my parents do for me everyday. Everyday they walk my dogs with their dog Lucy. And I mean everyday. They never skip a day unless the weather is just too rotten, which is rare. That is a level of commitment that I admire. My father keeps my yard free of dog debris, he is my own personal pooper scooper, as well as making sure my trash gets put out every week and my recycling is always at the curb. My mom keeps my house clean, which is no small task with two dogs, plus their dog over visiting every day. I have hard wood floors, which clean easily, but also show the dirt. And my mom keeps them clean, and the fridge full of whatever I might be able to eat or drink that week, and my stairs vacuumed and my bathroom clean. How can I ever repay that kind of loyalty, that kind of kindness? The only way I can think of is to live long enough to do it for them someday. I will get well so that when they get old(er) I can take care of them. My parents are amazing people. I can only hope to be just like them. I can’t believe they are in their 70’s. Truly astounding individuals.

So I’m off to doctor the sores on my back and prepare for my shopping expedition. Mike is participating in the Polar Bear Plunge today, which I don’t really get, but hey, it’s for a good cause. However for a good cause I would pay NOT to jump in the river. If the weather isn’t too crummy, I figure I’ll head down there around noon and watch him jump into a 20 degree river in a speedo.

Sorry if I just gave you a frightening image that is permanently burned into your retinas…

Have a happy day!