Feeling Better Everyday!

I apologize that I have been remiss in keeping up my blog. I just keep feeling better and better, which means less time relaxing here in front of the fireplace.

These last few weeks have been such a gift. I have been able to go to work everyday, which has been awesome. There is so much catching up to do! I had forgotten how much I love my job, love the people I work with, love being there in my office. I love feeling useful and at the end of the day knowing that I have achieved something meaningful, something important. While my actions may not save lives, I support the decision makers who make that hospital the place of caring and healing that it is. There is a genuine feeling of accomplishment to my work. I love seeing everybody again; so many people have stopped by to say “hi”, hearing that I was back in the saddle again for awhile. Their concern and caring is so beautiful to me. I had no idea that so many people were praying for me, pulling for me, sending their healing thoughts my way.

I missed being at work during the holidays. I pace slows and people stand around and talk more, sharing snacks and stories of their personal lives. You get to know everyone a little better, sharing a small glimpse into who they are outside of work, a peek into the life they lead at home. I have tried to carry that relaxed attitude into my work days, dropping what I am doing and making sure I am not too busy to share with that person who came through my door to visit with me. While the work I am doing is important, the human connection that we all share is the most essential component of my day. These people, all of you, give me the energy to keep on going, keep on fighting, keep on smiling and laughing.

The radiation is complete, all 10 episodes. It was fairly uneventful except for the fact that I burned so early on in the treatment. We started the burn cream right away which kept the burns down enough to stay on schedule for the treatments. I will continue to burn as the weeks go on, so I have to be vigilant in continuing to use the burn cream twice a day. That is hard to do when I have to rely on others to put the cream on for me. It’s difficult to ask someone to do this for me twice a day, every day. I know Peyton hates it, but she does it without grumbling too much. If Mike is around, I know he doesn’t mind at all, but he is not around very much, he is very busy with his work and basketball refereeing. But I will get it done when I can, its not like my skin is going to fall off without it, they are just burns. The pain has subsided significantly. It is not gone completely, but certainly reduced more than I would have imagined. I hope that is a good indicator that the cancer has been killed in those areas, never to return again.

I continue to struggle with lymphedema in my arm, wrapping it at night and keeping a sleeve on during the day. I go to physical therapy weekly to monitor and reduce the swelling. Sara reminds me of the importance of self-care, of not only my swollen arm, but of all of me. No one can care for me like I can care for myself. I am the first defense against this disease and I am the number one caretaker of me.

So it is with all of us. We are the best caretakers of ourselves. We can ask for help from our doctors, therapists, family, friends…but when it comes down to it, we are responsible for ourselves. They can give us all the advice and treatment in the world, but if self-care is not practiced, it is all for naught. We have to be our own best cheerleader, our own best physician, our own best caretaker. Love yourself. It’s the only self you are ever going to have.