Friday, January 29, 2010

The Fatigue Sets In

I sit here in front of the fireplace enjoying my first cup of coffee in over a week. It tastes good on the lips, but the jury is still out on how the stomach is going to react.

In looking down the list of common side effects associated with Ixempra, it appears that I have hit most of them except for the hair loss (which is probably coming in a week or so) and the mouth sores (which could just stay away as far as I’m concerned!). Most of the chemos I have been on have had a side effect of mouth sores and “knock on wood” I have yet to experience serious sores. I had a few minor ones with the previous chemo, but nothing to write home about. What I feel now is the fatigue setting in. While I have been tired all week, it has been a tiredness associated with being sick. When one is as sick as I was, it would only be natural to be worn out. This is a different feeling of tired. I got plenty of sleep last night, yet I am still exhausted. My body feels heavy, small tasks seem out of my reach. And this is only the beginning, I can feel it settling deep into the fiber of my being and making itself home there. For the next week or two I will struggle to accomplish the slightest tasks, yet I will persevere on through. The only answer to fatigue is to keep on moving. If left to its own devices, it will take over completely.

The aches and the pains are still very evident but I find I am able to go six hours without pain medication at night, rather than waking up and taking it every four. I am still at every four hours during the day. The nausea medication I take on schedule every 6 and 8 hours. I am certainly not ready to give in to that yet.

So…What’s on my agenda for today you ask?

Well, Mike is going to be over later to take the dressings off my back so I can shower and then he’ll put them back on. I need to run a few errands, Target (new car for Jessie for tonight), drug store (pick up prescriptions), grocery store (duh, food). And that should be all that my little body can handle. I thought about working today, but decided I will take one more day at home resting and go back for a few hours on Monday.

I’ll be picking Jessie up from day care at 4pm and we will get to spend a few hours with him before his mommy comes and picks him up. She came over after the gym last night because I texted her and asked her to, I miss her and Jessie so much. I put that little guy in my arms and the world is perfect. Just perfect. I love hearing how her life is progressing and how well her job is going. She is such a lovely lady, I am so proud she is in my life and the mother of my beautiful grandbaby.

I realize quickly when I gaze around what is truly important to me, and it’s the people and the pets and my faith. If the rest of it fell away and I could do nothing but pet my animals as my friends and family came by to visit, my God here by my side, I could live contently. The simple things. Truly the simple things in life make life worthwhile.