The End of the Season

The warm Chinook winds came in and the Christmas snow has melted away. It makes me feel like the season is truly over. All I have left is my Christmas tree and outside lights, the tree comes down this morning and the lights get turned off today, not sure when I’ll get the lights taken down. I’ll need to find out when Mike and Jason can come and help me. I should make this clear…I am perfectly capable of taking down those lights all by myself. I have been putting up and taking down Christmas lights on my own since my children were small. However, given my current medical condition some people think that I should not be handling tasks such as climbing around on the roof of my house in the cold. While I might dispute that assumption, the thought of actually climbing around on the roof in the cold doesn’t inspire me to fight this battle. I mean hey, if the guys want to take down my lights for me, far be it from me to take away that little nugget of satisfaction they will get by helping their fellow woman. I’m sounding pretty altruistic here aren’t I? Okay, seriously, although I am capable of taking down my lights, my strength and balance aren’t what they used to be six months ago. I would not want to risk falling off the roof, because that would create a whole new set of medical issues. So I will gratefully accept the help that is offered and my lights will come down when Mike and Jason deem it so.

Knowing my tree would be down today, I sat in my dark living room last night and looked at my tree all lit up one last time. What a beautiful tree. It made me think of my son and how much I wish he was here to see it. There is only one other year when my son was not with us for Christmas and that was his junior year in high school when he decided to try living at his dad’s in Nebraska for a semester. It was hard to have him gone then, but didn’t seem quite as difficult as it has been this time. Knowing he is just down the street, less than a mile away from me, yet he cannot be a part of our celebration, just breaks my heart. There was a hole in the fabric of my Christmas festivities this year, created by the absence of my son. I wish he could have seen the tree, it was a lovely tree.

But enough of my melancholy. I happily regained my title as Yahtzee champion again last night. It was a hard fought victory, but a victory none the less. And Mike retained his undisputed title in Scrabble, so the world is right again. The planets have aligned and all is good. We were going to go see Avatar in 3D last night, but it was sold out, so we decided to stay home and play games instead. It made for an enjoyable evening. I tried to get the kids to join in, but they could see that they were clearly out of their league with two champions sitting at the table.

It’s my last weekend before I step back into the working world, and I have to stay I am both excited and sad. I have enjoyed this time home with my daughter, sleeping as late as I want, sitting in my pajamas until the afternoon, having absolutely no schedule to adhere to, its been very refreshing. My goal was to rest, and I have rested and rested. I don’t think there was a night with less than 8 hours of sleep; most nights were closer to 10 hours. So my body has received the rest it so desperately needed. I am ready for the next round, let’s step into the ring, bring it on!! So, despite the fact I am giving up my lazy freedom, I am looking forward to seeing my co-workers again, and doing something meaningful with my day. I feel like what I do at the hospital is important, and I miss that sense of serving others and accomplishment that I feel at the end of my day. My job is very service oriented and all day long I get to serve my co-workers and board members, I love feeling that I am helping them, making their lives a little easier because of what I do. I am stepping in slowly, only a few days a week, but I look forward to what I can do in those few days. I know once I sit at that desk, I will find out how much more I missed it than I realized. I thank God I am still able to work and that I have such an amazing boss who is holding my job open for me and helping my replacement muddle her way through the days. It’s been amazing the compassion and support I have received. I am truly humbled.

Off to dismantle the tree. Enjoy the weekend; revel in the beauty of the day. There is truly no gift like the present!