Feeling Pretty Rotten

On a rotten scale from 1-10, 10 being how rotten I was last time I had this chemo I guess I would have moved up to a 5. I mean, I am not lying in bed just hoping the day will pass or I will die, whichever comes first, but I am spending a lot of time just lying in bed. I am so tired. Tired beyond belief. I could just sleep and sleep and sleep. I make myself get up and watch TV or eat, but truth be told, I could just stay in bed and sleep indefinitely. My body aches, particularly my legs and lately my neck and glands, sort of like you feel when you are coming down with the flu. My throat is sore and I generally just feel rotten. Puny. Awful. Terrible. There are many such adjectives that accurately describe how I feel. I have been keeping my log of how I feel and what medication I am taking and it is filled with mostly words like achy, tired, hurt, miserable.

I go to the cancer center today to have my labs checked and we will see how my white counts are doing. Mike has been coming over faithfully every day giving me a shot of neupogen, which does cause the achiness, but not the overwhelming pain like the neulasta did last time. So, if my whites are still low today, then they will send me home with another supply of shots, we’ll do 4 more and check again on Monday. As long as my whites are low, I will keep getting shots.

Given how this round is going, I would think that we will be adding the Xeloda next time which will hopefully give this healing a little added boost. It’s got some nasty side effects too, but I will deal with it, I always do.

So I am plugging on through. I feel miserable and exhausted, but it is better than last time. So that is an improvement. Keep me in your prayers.