Keep Saving Me.

The birds in my neighborhood have to be the happiest birds on the planet. Every single day I wake up and they are singing at the top of their little lungs. Now, I don’t know if it is strictly for my benefit, but I certainly do enjoy it. They are loud! They sing from one side, then respond from the other. It is a beautiful melody to start the day.

I know you will find this hard to believe, but I am spending the first few hours of my morning on my most delightful patio with a cup of Doma coffee. I have an 8:30 curfew for food and beverage, so I am making the best of it before its time to start fasting and start drinking contrast liquid for my upcoming CT scan. I was enjoying the leisurely pace in which my day was starting in bed, listing to those birds sing, but I knew if I didn’t get up, I wouldn’t get toast and coffee, and my stomach won out over my pillow!

I am still feeling rather weak and puny. I wish I knew why, perhaps it is just too much too soon and my body needs some time to recover. Sara, my PT and dear friend, says that this next month needs to be brain recovery month. My mind needs rest, relaxation, simple sounds, lots of sleep. I need to give my brain the time to recover from the trauma it has received, from the tumors to the cure. Radiation is a dangerous and awful thing to subject the body to, and I just bombarded my entire brain with radiation for 15 days. That’s a lot to subject the most important organ of our body to, so the brain deserves some TCL in return. I’m not good at the recovery thing, I seem to think when treatment is done, my body should just rebound and overcome. I forget that the recovery is just as important as the treatment. My friends have given me a most picturesque place to recover this summer, in this backyard I love so much, and I will take full advantage of the healing environment it provides.

I was listening to the radio this morning, 93.3, and this song came on. Its lyrics were so apropos for what I have been feeling in the last 48 hours that it seemed to come straight from God to my ears. I hope you will find its message as comforting as I have. Fix your gaze on faith, hope and love. Hold tight to your God. When things seem the darkest, that is when He seems to shine the brightest. The lesson to us is that we need to learn to shine His light on us all the time, not just in the misty gloom and shadows but in the brightest of days. Imagine the hottest, brightest, summer weekend sunshine further intensified by the radiance of God’s light. It’s beyond your comprehension, isn’t it? But imagine, try to imagine. Hold that image in your heart, in your soul. Feel its love and power. That’s the God of the universe holding you.

Savior, Please. By Josh Wilson

Savior, please take my hand,
I work so hard, I live so fast
This life begins, and then it ends,
And I do the best that I can, but I don't know how long I'll last

I try to be so tough
But I'm just not strong enough
I can't do this alone, God I need You to hold on to me
I try to be good enough
But I'm nothing without Your love
Savior, please keep saving me

Savior, please help me stand
I fall so hard, I fade so fast
Will You begin right where I end
And be the God of all I am because You're all I have

Hallelujah
Everything You are to me
Is everything I'll ever need
And I am learning to believe
That I don't have to prove a thing
'Cause You're the one who's saving me.

Go out and make it the most wonderful of days. Shine your light on another life, bring hope into the world. That is the best gift we can share with others. Hope.