Life Happens.

Life is what happens when we are making other plans.

Or so that’s how the saying goes, and I tend to agree. Plans go awry. They go south when we least expect them, and things change. Some people hold on white knuckled and some people are the types that just go with the flow, me…I think I’m somewhere in-between. I don’t mind changes in my life, and I can be an adrenaline junkie sometimes, but there are those big changes that cause me to hold on tight because I really don’t know what is beyond the bend. That’s how I handle the cancer change in my life; I hold on tight to hope and try to get through, and go with the flow when I can, knowing I am only capable of doing my part, so much is just out of my hands. Call it fate, destiny, chance, divine providence or whatever, there are just things for which we have no control. And major illness is one of them. I was SO healthy when I got sick. That is what is so crazy. I did everything “right”, ate right, exercised, meditated, stress reduction techniques, the whole ball of wax, but nothing kept it from coming back. So, I just hold on for the ride and hope that I am going to get off this roller coaster soon. And if not, well, then I just keep holding on and taking it one day at a time.

Yesterday threw a curve ball at me too. I had plans for the day with the dads in my life and things just did not work out the way I had planned. Mom ended up very very sick on Saturday night, and I am going to have to rant about that for just a moment because her physician, Dr. Higgs, and his practice, Tri-City Orthopedic, are making me extremely upset because of their lackadaisical treatment of her. She may not want me to share this, but you know me, I just put everything out there and let the chips fall where they may.

You know the basic story; Mom fell about three weeks ago. Hard fall. Her leg below her knee hurt, but it kept getting progressively worse and she finally went to the doctor on June 9th when she was in extreme, uncontrollable pain. They did an x-ray that day and determined with 90% certainty that she had cracked the bone in her leg below her knee replacement, had done no damage to the replacement itself, she should stay off it, take pain medication, and follow up with Dr. Higgs on June 23rd. They gave her Dilautid, which is a good narcotic, fights pain and doesn’t make her sick to her stomach. Pain medication mostly just makes her throw up. So, she takes her pain medication, on schedule, and it works ok, takes the edge off, and she isn’t puking. Good thing, right? So she calls a week later to get a refill and is told that “they only give this pain medication to surgical patients and they never give refills. They would give her a lower dose drug, Lortab.” So, she gets the lortabs and they make her sick. Really sick. So I called Dr. Higgs office and after over 7 minutes of holding and phone trees finally get the nurses voice mail. And I express my frustration that they are not treating my elderly mother (I hate the world “elderly” but it sounds good in this situation) with compassion or providing adequate pain control. There is no reason that they cannot and will not refill the other type of pain medication that works better for her. She is not a drug seeker, she is a woman in pain, and she can’t see the doctor until this Wednesday and until then she is supposed to just throw up and be in pain? I was nice, I swear, but never received a call back…nor did my mother. So by Saturday night, she was puking all night, which seriously nixed our green chili plans for yesterday on father’s day, which I know is beside the point, but then she is sick and doesn’t get her day either!! But what makes me so ANGRY is that the doctor's office is not treating my mother with compassion and like an individual patient. I have to confess, I gave her some of my anti-nausea medication (I do have a few of those) and they seem to be helping, but the point is, I shouldn’t have to. Dr. Higg's office should be helping her. So, I’ll see how she is doing today, and I may call the office again, I know they can’t talk to me about her case (HIPPA and whatnot) and I don’t care if they do, I know the case, I just want them to take care of my mother. Like I said, she sees Higgs on Wednesday, but the problem is, she isn’t getting any better and she isn’t so sure it’s a cracked bone, and you know what, Higgs isn’t sure either. So, let’s frickin find out. And in the words of Forrest Gump…that’s all I have to say about that.

Then Houston and Elena got in a fight yesterday. It was over disciplining Jessie, which is always a tough thing. As most of you know, they have not really been together for the last year, so they have not been raising him together… Anyway, I tried to do the best I could to make it a teaching, coming together as a parent moment, but my son behaved like a child and stormed off, leaving Elena and Jessie with me. During the argument, her car had broken down and was dead at the gas station, so she had no vehicle, no car seat. So, as usual, mom stepped in for the rescue and gave her my car, Peyton went and got gma and gpas car seat and she was able to spend a few hours with us and then take Jessie home. My understanding is that she is getting the car fixed today and I get my car back this afternoon. I am so glad I could help, I never mind helping Jessie or Elena, it was that my son didn’t and I was so disappointed in him. So as much as we take 10 steps forward, I guess we have to take those few steps back. Life happens. Our experiences in the past dictate how we behave today and sometimes it takes a while to break old patterns. So, I will take the time to talk to my son, give him my opinion, he can take it or leave it at this point, and will tell him the same things I told Elena…this is a perfect moment to set out guidelines and come together as a united parental unit and decide together how to discipline Jessie and how to be consistent at both houses. We’ll see. Sounds good in theory at least.

So at 5pm yesterday, Peyton and I threw a few steaks on the grill, a few potatoes in the microwave, some leftover salad from dinner Friday and had a lovely dinner together. It was too cool and rainy to eat on the patio, so we sat formal at the dining room table with cloth napkins and everything and made it a special dinner, mom and daughter style. She hates father’s day anyway, so moms day was okay.

So life just comes at you the way it comes. And mostly, we can’t control it. It just happens around us and we swirl and spin and try to keep up. I am struggling with cognition and the ability of my mind to think and react clearly in any given situation. And it’s frustrating, but I am working through it. I’m writing and reading, and doing everything I can to keep my mind active. And I am taking life as it comes. One day, sometimes one moment, at a time. And one moment is sometimes, the best we can do.