Ramblings...

Do you ever have those days when you want to just pull the covers over your head and just skip the day? Go back to sleep and dream the day away and try again tomorrow? I think we all have those, regardless of whether or not we have any sort of trials in our lives. I think its part of human nature, part of our chemical make up somehow, where there are those days, those moments when you just don't want to deal with life for awhile. Life isn't easy, it’s hard. It’s beautiful and wonderful and has so many incredible experiences to offer, but it isn't easy. Life will let you down, if you let it. The trick is to not let it.

We all have our expectations, our desires, how we want things to look and be for our life. I don't think that makes any of us control freaks; it’s just what we want and how we want it in our own lives. Problem is, the rest of the people in our world want things their way too, so mine isn't the only desire, the only viewpoint, the only dream in my life. Somehow we have to figure out how to mesh our dreams and our desires into those of the ones we love. And I think that sometimes they fit, and sometimes they don't. None of us sees the world the same way. Each one of us brings our own perspective into our reality. Our reality is ours. Mine is not the same as yours because I am seeing the world through my perspective, my preconceived notions, my hurts, my successes, my failures, my joys, my sorrows. I can look at the same flower and see it completely differently based on what my experience is, and none of us have the same experiences. So as we look at our futures, we see our future and our desires, and that may or may not fit in with the ones we love and the people we are spending that future with.

Can this be overcome? Of course, but it takes work. That's where the "life gets hard" part comes in. Because we are all so human we let each other down, all the time. That's just what we do. Unless our name is Jesus, we are certainly not perfect, and spend alot of time doing things wrong, mostly unintentionally, its just part of our human nature. So when we go along our bumpy road and we have our plans and our goals, they sometimes get shot out of existence, or at least it can feel that way. Maybe I am being obtuse here, but I think you all know what I mean. I think I can't say it any easier than this - we don't always get what we want. But I do believe that God and this life will give us what we need. (There's the makings of a song there...) We sometimes just need to get out of the way and let life takes its course and realize that we are all such flawed and incomplete human beings. There is always a combined perspective, a compromise, and joined vision that can be found if the desire is there to find it. I think we get stuck in our own dreams and forget that there is another dream that can coalesce with ours to make a better shared dream, a better future.

And sometimes, you just have to adjust what you desire and let it go. People will not be what you want them to be, they are going to be exactly who and what they are, and no one can change them. Change can only come from an internal desire. I certainly cannot tell you that you HAVE to change the way you look at something, see yourself, look at the world, how you feel, your perspective, your thoughts, your desires, your dreams, your goals; the filter that you see the world through is your filter. It is your reality and there is nothing I can do, or should do, to change that. Some of us feel compelled to share our opinions about what others should think, feel or do... but I don't know if that is always the best course of action. I think sometimes, we just have to leave it alone and let people live the life they are meant to live, without all the static from us. Words are limited and full of hidden meanings and emotions and they fail us, and when that happens I think we just have to see people through our heart, not our mind. Look at them through the heart of God within us and let them find their own way. That’s why God give us so much grace, because we need all the grace we can get not only from Him, but from each other. When was the last time you granted grace to someone?

So, I’m out of bed, and as much as the covers over the head looked good to me - life and this day, are waiting for me (and with very little hair I don’t have to worry about bed head). It might not be the day I want and my future may not be the one I was planning, but it is my day and it’s the only Sunday, August 23, 2009, that I’m going to get. I might as well take it for what it has to offer and seize the day, the old "carpe diem" quote. Or as quoted in one of my favorite movies Braveheart – Every man dies, not every man really lives. I certainly don’t want to leave this earth not living life to the fullest. It’s the only life I’m going to get, so I might as well face the sunshine, put a smile on my face knowing that eventually it will make its way to my heart and soul. Smiles, like grace, eventually find their way home. I’m feeling better already.