I'm getting my energy back!!

Finally, my energy is coming back. Slowly but surely. I figure it must take awhile for the new blood to assimilate into the the old. So finally all those blood cells are starting to mix it up and I no longer feel like a lump of lead. I still feel weaker than normal, but I am confident that my counts are going to rebound and I'll be ready for another dose of chemo on Thursday. Gotta stay on track!

I have been calling chemo "poison" and my PT said that I shouldn't call it poison because of the negative connotation associated with that word. So I have been thinking of a possible replacement and I think I finally came up with it..."slightly-toxic remedy." So, rather than think of this as poison, it is my slightly toxic remedy to a relatively serious affliction. It has a much more positive twist to it, don't you think? I mean, it relates the seriousness of the issue without saying those yucky words - chemo, poison, cancer. So, in my continuing efforts to walk this road with a more positive attitude, I am changing my self-talk. I mean, the brain, it listens. You gotta feed it good stuff or it'll make up its own negative story!

I've been working some long days the last few days, trying to get everything caught up during the three short days I work. And, this is a slow month! But Wendy is starting to learn more. She has a vacation coming up and when she gets back she hopes to be able to focus full time on working with me. That should continue to take the pressure off, yet I'll still be able to continue to work. That means alot to me, to continue to go to the office and live my life and feel useful. My boss has assured me that my job is mine as long as I can do it. He doesn't care if I have to work like this for six months, my job will be waiting for me when I'm ready to come back. That is a pretty special gift to someone who is battling this type of ailment. Like he related to me the other day, I got enough to worry about without wondering if my job will still be there when I get well. That is a huge relief and a incredible burden lifted off my shoulders. How lucky I am to work for Rand at Kadlec. I don't think everyone who is facing this type of uncertain future can say they definitely have a job waiting for them when they get done with their slightly-toxic remedy.

I'll work tomorrow and then its to the doctor on Thursday to talk about path forward. I'll know a little bit more after my visit with him on what we are going to do next. I assume, more slightly-toxic remedy, but how many rounds, I'm not sure. Two? Three? Four? Then, what happens after that? Once the remedy is successful, then what is the medical path forward? I haven't asked about that yet, I've been focused on the here and now. But whatever it is, I'm ready for it. If the medical personnel can dish it out, I can take it. Whatever it takes, I'll beat this thing.

I'm in this for the long-haul. Watch out world, you ain't getting rid of me that easy.