Not doing too well this week!

I do not think the blood is doing well. Yup. That’s my expert medical opinion. I came home from work yesterday and went straight to bed for a few hours and just can’t seem to perk up. I feel like my body is made of lead and my head is full of air. When I try to move around I get dizzy and short of breath. I went to bed at 8:30 last night in the hopes that a good night sleep would set everything straight again, but no such luck. I woke up this morning still exhausted, short of breath, dizzy with the lovely addition of a massive headache.

I have to admit, I was somewhat scared last night. I was wondering how far can my blood counts drop before I'm in serious trouble? Was I close to danger or is it my imagination? I hate to overreact, but at the same time, I know what it feels like to have low platelets and hemoglobin. And mine are low. I said a prayer before I went to bed asking God to watch over me and to please not let me die in the night and he answered my prayer…here I am. Still alive and kicking. Whew. I’m relieved.

So, I decided I’d been in bed for over 9 hours and maybe it was time to get up and around. The around consists of a cup of coffee and parking my butt in my rocking chair in front of the fireplace. But hey, I’m vertical. I was hoping maybe a cup of coffee would help the headache, so far, no luck. But I’m hopeful. I talked to Mike and I’m going to call my chemo nurse at 8am and see what she says. See if she wants to draw blood today or wait for another 24 hours. One thing is for certain, I’m probably not moving far from the chair today. I have already decided that there is no way I’m making it to work, I simply don’t have the strength and besides, Wendy is there and she can take care of anything that needs to be done. I have a few things to take care of that can be done from home later. That’s why I have a laptop and wi-fi. The world will certainly not end if I stay home today.

So I will rest and relax and try to rebound. The big R’s. There is nothing I can do to get my platelets up except rest and let them rebound on their own, unless they decide to do a transfusion. I just keep remembering I’m on the homeward stretch. I’ve been lucky to have felt so good for so long so I guess its about time that my body would simply say, no more. I have cruised through 15 weeks pretty easily, considering what they are doing to me, and I certainly cannot think that eventually I wasn’t going to be able to bounce back with no trouble. There is a cumulative effect of the chemo and I have had 10 doses. So its my turn to just feel puny. At least the weather matches my mood and it is a perfect day to snuggle up under the covers and just rest.

I’ll post later and let you know what the counts are if they decide to do some blood work today. In the meantime, send good thoughts and lots of prayers. I need every single one!