Update, and a little about hope.

Chemo went just fine yesterday. My platelets are up right there where they are supposed to be; it’s my reds that are still taking a beating. They gave me an Arinesp shot to try to boost them back up in hopes that I won’t have to endure another transfusion. If I do, I do, it’s really no big deal, except the nurse was explaining to me that you want to have as few transfusions as possible because your body will build up antibodies. I don’t really understand the whole thing, but I’m cool with no transfusions. I think they are incredibly boring.

I met a woman with Triple Negative Breast Cancer yesterday. I was excited to meet someone going through the same treatment as me! Her name is Mary and her husband is Earl. What wonderful people. She was having her first treatment and I got the feeling had a little trepidation about the whole process. She told me that I encouraged her and she was feeling a little better about the prospect of her treatment when we parted. My prayer is I gave her a sense of hope that she didn’t have when she started and helped her to be a little less frightened as she embarked on this journey. I gave her all my contact information and encouraged her to call or write if she needs me. I mean, why go through this if we can’t help each other along the way. She shared with me that her recent conversations with Dr. Rado indicate that the clinical trial he is doing for TNBC is showing great promise. I was really excited to hear that. I know I can make it through this series of treatments, but with metastatic breast cancer, there is a good chance that there are more treatments, and I’d like to eliminate those if possible.

I have another friend, Cheryl, who is in my Tai Chi Chih class, who is having a bone marrow biopsy today. Also a cancer survivor, her blood counts are low and they are checking to see if her cancer is back. I am praying extra hard for her, so say a prayer for Cheryl today, that her biopsy comes back negative. I have heard that bone marrows are really painful, but she said they aren’t really too big of a deal (only cancer patients can say stuff like this is no big deal) so she wasn’t worried about the biopsy itself, just the results. I’ll keep you posted but say your prayers for this courageous woman!

I started a little painting project. Those of you who know me know I really enjoy painting. I love the transformation a room takes when it’s painted with brilliant new colors. I have not done much painting in my “new” (gosh I’ve been here three years!) house. I did my daughter’s room very dramatic with stripes and bold colors, but have never really taken the time to carry colors into my other rooms. I have spent a lot of time the last three years working on my yard and the outside aspects of the home and finally decided my bedroom and bathroom need a facelift. Peyton and I picked out some paint samples yesterday and I bought the cutest little cans of paint that you have ever seen! (Have you seen those little pint cans? They are too freakin cute!) I put some splotches on the walls last night while watching Grey’s Anatomy. I am now really grateful for those cute little cans of paint. The green that I selected, while a lovely green, is more baby poop green once it dries on the wall. That’s a vision, isn’t it? I’m glad I didn’t do the entire wall. So I’m stopping by today to try a deeper green with a less yellow tint. Especially since my second color is a yellow/gold, if my green has too much yellow in it, its gonna look like poop. No way around it! I got my kids involved and their opinions, and I’m in absolutely no hurry. Just a little diversion project that I can do over the next month or so. I know me and I know it won’t take me that long because I won’t want to have that much disarray in my life, but I am not pushing myself and there is no time limit. I will do what my body will allow me to do! I am carrying the green into my bathroom and accenting it with a lovely rose color. A girl has gotta have pink.

I would involve Mike in the selection process, but since he is completely color blind except for yellow, he’ll like whatever I do. And he hates to paint, so this is definitely my project! I could paint the entire room pepto bismo pink and he’d never know unless I told him. It’s either light or dark. I think it is sad that he is color blind. I think of all the things he misses, but he has been like this his whole life, so if you don’t know the brilliance of a blue sky or the radiant reds of the leaves, you don’t realize you are missing anything. They still look beautiful in his world, just different than through his eyes than mine. Beauty is beauty, no matter how you look at it.

I read a great quote yesterday. “When the world says ‘give up’ hope whispers ‘try it one more time’.” That really struck a cord with me. Hope is what we live by. The hope and promise of what is to come. Helen Keller said that “each day comes to me with both hands full of possibilities.” And I see that every moment of every day. All the possibilities in our lives. I try to live in each moment and enjoy every experience no matter what the circumstances may be. It’s all about attitude. Do I look at things with a smile on my face or see them with a frown? Life is way too precious and short to not enjoy everything that comes my way, no matter how challenging it may seem. But there are those days when it all becomes a little overwhelming and the weight of the world seems to fall heavy on my shoulders and I wonder…when will it end? When does it get easy again? And that is when hope comes in. And hope says, keep trying, keep going, there are better things out there for you, just waiting. Open your heart, your eyes and your hands and take the next steps in faith, for hope is there waiting just around the corner. Can’t you see it? And so I take those steps, in faith, and there it is…like a lovers mistletoe hanging from the ceiling, the promise of hope comes into view. And I grasp it, with all my heart. And my soul sings and rejoices for it is full again. Overflowing with the promise of hope.

Never lose hope. No matter what the world throws at you. May your day be filled to the brim with its promise!