Saturday's Thoughts

Update on the animals! They both got spayed yesterday and I can tell that today will be a difficult day trying to keep them from doing too much, playing too hard with each other, trying to get outside to play. They are both feeling quite well and I can see want to do too much. They want to lick their incisions, they want to wrestle, they want to climb on things, they want to run. Sophie is not going to like it when she has to stay on her leash for new next few weeks of walks, but there is no unrestrained running for the next 14 days! That is going to be like torture. And Betsy, the kitty, she is crazy, she climbs the fences, runs around the neighbors yard with the kids, she is into everything. And her incision is much bigger because Dr. Menks was concerned about blood in her urine and when she opened her up to look at her, she had a bruised bladder. So, she 1) either plays WAY too hard with Sophie, which is what we think. Those animals act like they are going to kill each other sometimes or 2) fell off the fence or 3) out of a tree… Its hard to tell. But she has quite the incision and we are supposed to keep her quiet and calm… yeah right. No way.

So it’s a good thing that I’m home this weekend and able to watch them carefully. I’m not feeling too great anyway so it will be a good opportunity for me to hang out around the house and read and rest and get some household duties done. I have a stack of bills that need to be paid, filing that needs to be done, papers that need to be sorted. You know, I am sure you have the same type of stack at your house. I have found that with the cancer, I just don’t want to take care of that stuff. Bills are overwhelming, the mail just piles up, my work sometimes just sits. I just can’t deal with it sometimes. So, I’m going to have to get serious or something is going to get shut off! My dad mentioned my car tags the other night and thought, oh yeah, I remember seeing that envelope. Guess I’d better find it.

Its doubly hard since I no longer have my office. When my son moved in he took over my basement which is where my office is. So my office has become a chair in the living room with a little table next to it, and although I have done the best I can with that type of work environment, it isn’t ideal. Then, my wireless went out and now I can’t even do the Internet from anywhere but downstairs, so that has made it even harder. Oh well, just small hurdles to overcome. I am hoping my son can start working towards moving out and I can get my house back to normal before too long. I love him, but as anyone with adult children know, sometimes, its just time for them to be on their own.

Cancer is a funny thing. You are up and then you are down and sometimes you don’t know what you feel. I guess that isn’t just cancer, its life. That’s how I was last night and again today. I don’t feel awful, but I don’t feel great either, sort of just blah. I got my flu shot but still worry about getting the H1N1 or other type of sickness that would be devastating for me. I talked with infection control at Kadlec and they said it will be 2-3 weeks before we have the vaccine, meanwhile it’s in the community. One of my dear friends is fighting H1N1 and we have the first confirmed case in our Child Care Center at work. You have to love our government. They HAVE the vaccine, but drag their feet with pages and pages of paperwork to get the vaccine out to the people, meanwhile, people are sick and dying. I was told at the cancer center on Thursday that they are not sure if they are going to get the vaccine because they don’t have an “at risk population.” What the heck does that mean? How are immunocompromised patients not at risk? Like I said, gotta love the government.

So I am just plugging on through. I got a few of my Halloween lights up yesterday, maybe I’ll do the rest today. My daughter has about 600 senior pictures and we need to decide which one goes in the yearbook. Mike is out of town in Portland ready to run the marathon tomorrow, so I am solo this weekend, so nothing but time, sweet time, on my hands. Maybe I’ll finish a book. Maybe I’ll take a nap. Skies the limit!

Like each chemo before, the side effects get a little worse every time and it takes a little more grit to overcome. So, I’ll grit my teeth and persevere. That’s all any of us can do anyway.

Enjoy the fall!