Stronger Than Cancer

Sometimes it’s hard to be stronger than cancer. Cancer is pretty powerful and it claws and weasels its way into my body and mind and changes my life forever. Everything I do revolves around fighting cancer and treating the side effects; my mind cannot wrap itself around the immenseness of it and it becomes like a festering sore that is always there, always reminding me of its presence. I can’t get away from it no matter how fast I run or how much I might try to ignore it. Its there inside of me threatening to break all barriers and all boundaries. Threatening to take away not only my life, but to break my spirit on the journey home.

And it’s hard to be strong enough not to let it break my spirit. Yes, it may take my life. A bus may also take my life; we just don’t know how our lives will end. But cancer has this uncanny ability to take pieces of my spirit, my strength, my courage, my character, my determination, my very heart. It reaches into the very essence of who I am and works to twist and tear at that essence until it becomes someone that I cannot recognize.

And no one can find the strength in me, I must find it myself. I have wonderful friends who see my strength and remind me of it, they remind me of my fortitude, my will to live, my determination to beat this invasive disease, but only I can reach down deep into the depths of my soul to regain that strength and use it to fight back. And it is hard when this disease beats me down day after day after day. But fight back I will. My friends, you remind me of who I am and what I want to be, a fighter. I cannot sit back and slip quietly into the night, for that is not the essence of who I am. I will face this challenge with the courage of David at the face of the giant. I have in my arsenal much more ammunition than David ever dreamed of; I have a team of physicians who are brilliant, a family who loves me and stands behind me, a partner who supports my every decision and friends who got my back. I have much much more than David had when he faced Goliath, and he beat Goliath, and I will beat cancer.

I just have to make it through this day. And this day only. One day, one footstep, one thought at a time.

Walk with me. Let’s face this giant and kick its butt from here to Timbuktu and beyond. I'm counting on you to be with me!

Love,
Patty

PS: Its early on Thursday, I still need 33,000 platelets! Keep praying!