The Sunflowers.

Sunflowers make me smile. They are the happiest flower I know. How can you not feel joy when you see their bright sunshiney faces smiling at you. I have a sunflower garden just to the north of my driveway so I get to enjoy them every morning and night as I go about my day. I have from small to tall; red, orange and yellow; each one is just magnificent in its own glory. They peek over the fence at my neighbors house and she appreciates that I planted some of them backwards in order to allow her and her family to share in the sheer joy of their beauty as their faces peer towards the sky, soaking in all the sun's radiance.

Are you a sunflower? Do you try to bring sunshine and smiles into peoples lives? Do you know how simple it is to just smile at a cranky store clerk rather than to buy into his or her crankiness and feed it back to them? Maybe they are just having a rotten day and YOU can be the one that turns their day around. And if you aren't, well then at least they didn't turn your day around. Next time you feel like the world is closing in around you, that life is just crap, remember the sunflower, be the sunflower. Let your light shine.

Enough philosophising. These thoughts were from a journaling class I took at the cancer center. We wrote about something that made us happy and I thought, sunflowers. No doubt. They just make me smile! Its starting to get a little rougher, mostly due to fatigue. I woke up this morning and felt like I had hit a wall. I was SO tired, I just couldn't keep up today. I got my blood work done this afternoon and my platelets are extremely low. Not dangerously low, just very low. I'm at 62,000 and I have to have at least 100,000 to have chemo, but I have one week to rebound before my next treatment. The rest of my counts, white blood cells and red blood cells are low and I am very susceptible to infection right now. I had a friend who was supposed to have lunch with me today and she was coming down with a cold and I appreciate that she canceled. I really can't afford to be exposed to any infections right now. So thanks for thinking about me!

Starting next week I'm going to go to a reduced work schedule working Monday-Wednesday taking Thursday and Friday off. As much as I hate the thought of reducing my hours, I have to admit it will be nice to not have to rush off to work before my chemo on Thursday and worry about getting back right after. Rand was right. :-) My incredible friends are scheduling meals three days a week, people are offering to walk my dog, do my gardening. And up until today, I thought, nice, I'll do it so people have a way to help me, but as of today, the thought of having the help is awesome. I simply have no excess energy.

Thanks so much for all your love and continued support. Remember, this little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine, let it shine, let it shine, let it shine!!!! God loves you!